No more grading

So I have decided not to do grading anymore, or at least last week and this week I have. Probably because I don't want to face the facts but I am also trying to figure this whole thing out. This week I have been trying out just listening to myself and acting accordingly. I had a theory that I could just focus on how I was feeling and asked myself what I needed to feel good and then do that. I was trying to find the place of not controlling the situation and trusting myself to do what was right. So I ended up sleeping in too much, not exercising and eating lots of foods that my body doesn't like. Strangely enough my mood has been happier in general even while my body hasn't felt too hot. Today I slept until noon and felt really guilty for that, mostly for wasting all that time I could be being productive and it was beautiful and sunny. I also realized that there is a part of me just waiting for the daytime hours to go by until the evening comes. I am really ready to go to work. I think not having so much time on my hands I do better.  Most of all I am tired of trying to figure it all out. I have just been focusing on keeping a smile on my face and thinking happy thoughts.