Jumping off the wagon

Just wanted to preemptively vindicate myself by posting this disclaimer that I am taking the day off. I am jumping off the wagon and pretty sure I am not going to catch up with it anytime before sunrise. Screw it, really! I had candy, moved on to cookies and pretty sure fast food is coming next. Haven't exercised properly since hot yoga and really that wasn't my best effort. It is that time of the month that I feel controlled by forces beyond my control and honestly why bother with control? Isn't that one of the things I am supposed to be letting go of, my need to control? If I keep such a tight rein on myself and every action I take isn't that just using control because I am scared I can't trust myself and the choices I make?  I don't think that my choices make much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. I have good days, I have bad days. I feel happy, I feel sad. Some days I just wake up with no energy whatsoever. If I am truly listening to myself then don't I have to listen to all the voices. If there isn't a single part of me that wants to go exercise and I drag myself to do it anyway and instead of making me feel better it drains all the energy I never had to begin with then what's the point? Shouldn't I listen and adjust my expectations accordingly? What's that you say? I can't hear you, speak louder. OH, god bless you, didn't mean to make you sneeze. So here I am, sitting on the side of the road, watching the bandwagon getting smaller and smaller in the distance. I could get up and chase it but don't really have the energy. Think I will just sit here and eat this cheeseburger and celebrate how good it tastes. However, if you see me running frantically behind trying to catch up, please, would you reach out a hand and pull me back on board:)